Hey, gang, it’s almost Easter, and that means it’s time to slip on your sexiest bunny suit and join the happy, peppy parade of Easter candy lovers. Easter candy has something for almost everybody to love, so grab a bunny and bite off its head, nab some Marshmallow Peeps and add them to your sweet potato pie, or whip up a festive Cadbury Creme Egg salad sandwich. After all, it’s spring– if it feels good, do it!!!
The thing I most love about Easter candy, though, in’t how it tastes. It’s the way that there’s something intrinsically problematic about depicting all these bunnies and chicks year after year… it can go wrong in so many creative ways.
Chew the gum – eat the teeth! With Easter BubbaGum, you double your pleasure, double your fun!
And in case edible gross teeth and bubble gum just aren’t enough, Easter BubbaGum includes a FREE TATTOO. Now, if that doesn’t embody the spirit of Easter, I can’t imagine what does.
And then there are Costas’ peanut butter eggs. Those poor bunnies… they look happy, so optimistic. It’s not their fault they’re covered in chocolately coating that make them look like… well… something else.
Easter candy in the “good ol’ days” could conjure up disturbing images as well. These plastic dispensers are just plainly out of their minds and ready to give a child bad dreams if he or she awakes to see them in the middle of the night.
On a more positive note, the chicks and bunnies on this old Whitman’s box may simply be on speed and have no other underlying mental conditions.
Even the eggs themselves can go wrong. Palmer Candy seems to think that no holiday is complete without our thoughts turning to NASCAR, so they brought us a commemorative egg for Easter’s main man, the legendary Number 8, Dale Earnhardt Jr.
Despite all the madness associated with Easter candy, in the end we must remember: “In Bunnies We Trust”. Just please remember that Bunny Money is not accepted at most retail outlets, and Hoppy McCarrot was recently brought up on counterfeiting charges.