It’s full-on awards season here in Hollywood, and oh, my stars, Samantha!, are the invitations ever flooding in! Now granted, none of these RSVPs will bring me anywhere near the fabled Dolby Theatre on March 2. More like Toluca Lake, or maybe El Segundo and a few of the other seven cities of El Dorado.  But whatchagonna do? We’re all expected not just to suit up and show up, but also to sparkle-plenty at these annual private viewing parties thrown by friends, fam, and the Southland’s aspirational glamazons.

And since we’re here in Oscars country, this means going for the gold. Not just heaping on the fresh-mined bling. That would be vulgar, common, tawdry, tacky and cheap, although that’s never stopped us before. But the fresher way this time around on the red carpet is this: no bangles, no dangles, no bojangles, no massive jewelry, just your bare skin a-glow with metallic, 24-karat inspired makeup that makes it seem like you’ve been canoodling with old King Midas himself. Chic with the requisite LBD. Or, if you’re really intent on flaunting your inner Bond Girl, just gild the lily from stems to stamen like the woman in the credits of “Goldfinger”, until you get your gold-fill.

Speaking of girls, we simply cannot stop lovin’ on that Gwen Stefani, baby-bump and all, who is the genius behind the most iconic ore-inspired accessory this season: OPI Nail Lacquer in Love.Angel.Music.Baby. The metallic particles are fine-grind, so this lacquer is not just a sheer glaze with some random floaties. It’s a Satin-finish, meaning ix-nay on the topcoat. One pass with the brush creates a semi-matte-ish, solid, crushed white-gold carapace of tiny, shimmery awesomeness, perfect for nails like mine which are bitten down to the nub from a lifetime of shpilkes, not to mention being pounded senseless on keyboards morning, noon and night. By the way, this lacquer would look especially epic with a Night of the Iguana tan. I’m keeping in mind for that next jaunt to Puerto Vallarta, which better be soon, judging from my laptop pallor.

Oh – and although OPI Nail Lacquer in Love.Angel.Music.Baby is NOT marketed as a ridge-filler of any kind, I do notice that the itty-bitty-ness of the golden particles fills in the surface dings, pits and gullies. If only it worked on cellulite.

And hey diva, if you’re more into a fast, transparent slick of gold for nails, slip into Carrie’d Away from Nicole by OPI. Gossamer-light and iridescent. Fun.

As I’m admiring my nails, I can’t keep my hands off my pot of Mirabella

Gold fever

We’ve got gold fever, just in time for the Oscars

Glitter Glaze Eye Shimmer—what the French call “scintillement”. It’s sparky and micro-milled, a far cry from the chunky, harsh disco-glitter of my platform-stomping, dehydrated youth. But I have a confession. I’m not wearing it on my eyes—I flick it across my collarbones for a big night out. Like little flecks of fire as I’m ripping into the all-you-can-eat bottomless basket of breadsticks at The Olive Garden.

Ditto for the deluxe duo from Kevin Murphy, Shimmer.Shine and Color.Bug Shimmer for hair. Shimmer.Shine is a repairing shine in a mysteriously faceted pump bottle which is easy to grab in the dark, like all good things. The teensy gold-dust flecks settle in the bottom, so the bottle—to paraphrase the bottle Alice encounters on her way down the rabbit-hole–commands the user to “TWIRL ME BEFORE USE” (in caps). Kind of like a snow-globe. Wheeee! The spray is just veil-mist, smells like a cocktail of a dream-beach, baby powder, and gelt-smelting S’mores, and isn’t oily. Just a soft sheen of moisture and itsy specks of gold.

Color.Bug is a more densely pigmented gold makeup for your hair (shampoos out, but why would you??), packaged in faceted-gold sphere—sort of like a royal Faberge golf-ball, if the Czars had played golf. I use it to create a gleaming Fort Knox cougar-stripe that I drape over one eye—my version of Mrs. Robinson on the prowl in “The Graduate.”

Instant glam, even if you’re just picking up something gluten-free at Whole Foods, trotting around in your Lurex jeggings and hoping to be mistaken for an undiscovered Kardashian.


Get it now:

-Mirabella Glitter Glaze, $32.00,


-KEVIN.MURPHY SHIMMER.SHINE, $27.50, for salons


-KEVIN.MURPHY SHIMMER.BUG $25.00, for salons


-OPI Nail Lacquer,,  in Love.Angel.Music.Baby at professional salons, including Beauty Brands, Beauty First, Chatters, Dillard’s, JCPenney, Pure Beauty, Regis, Trade Secret, and ULTA,   $9.00 ($10.95 CAN)


-Nicole by OPI,,  in Carrie’d Away, $7.99 at retailers including select CVS, Duane Reade, HEB, Kroger, Kmart, Ulta, Walmart, Fred Meyer, Meijer, and Harmon locations



Victoria Thomas

About Victoria Thomas

Brooklyn-born Victoria Thomas loves writing about flora and fauna, although she chooses to do so in an urban setting. If she had it all to do over again, she might have become a forensic entomologist. She lives in Los Angeles.
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