I know, it’s fucking HOT out there! Why drive through traffic and fight the crowds for a 20-minute fireworks display you can see from your roof? So grill up some dogs or order a pizza and put your feet up. You work hard. You deserve it.
Here are the shows running 4th of July marathons.
Treehouse Masters (6 a.m. – 7 p.m., Animal Planet)
What on Earth? (3 a.m. – 12 a.m., Science Channel)
South Park (6 a.m. – 2:30 p.m., Comedy Central)
Tosh.0 (3 p.m. – 10 p.m. Comedy Central)
Untold Stories of the E.R. (3 p.m. – 12 a.m., TLC)
Star Trek: Voyager (6 a.m. – 10 a.m., BBC America)
Star Trek: The Next Generation (10 a.m. – 12 a.m., BBC)
What? No Twilight Zone? Don’t worry, seasons 1, 2, 3, and 5 are streaming on Netflix.
Recommendations for patriotic movies after the break
YANKEE DOODLE DANDY
1776 THE MUSICAL (1972)
THE SPIRIT OF ’76
A FEW GOOD MEN
TEAM AMERICA: WORLD POLICE
AIR FORCE ONE
Here are some scary and patriotic, or at least military-themed films recommended by Dukey Flyswatter.
INDEPENDENCE DAY: RESURGENCE
THE REVENANT (2006)
ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER
INVADERS FROM MARS