Weed Service Review: The TokrLA App Manages Your Cannabis Lifestyle When You Are Too High To Buy (Responsibly)

Image courtesy of TokrLA

Ever feel paralyzed–or as we stoners say, couchlocked–by limitless choice? Going over to your dealer’s place to score some weed back in the day usually involved a more limited choice: take it or leave it. Nowadays, you can choose marijuana products based on what you would like them to do to you. But how do you evaluate an entire shop’s worth of product to come up with that one thing you really want? The TokrLA app promises to guide you through the shelves of product available and then bring the thing that’s just right to your front door.

Most people in LA already know about weed delivery services. What they may not know is that not all of those services you see on Weedmaps are licensed and dealing with solely above-board products. Some folks are comfortable dealing with unregulated gray-area farmer’s markets and “Medical shops;” for decades we had no other options. But it’s becoming obvious that that’s where shady operators are now dumping flower that can’t test clean for pesticides and other contaminants. Cheap bootleg vape pens are causing a nationwide health scare, including here in California, where clean cannabis oil shouldn’t be hard to come by. I’ve been sold one vape pen and offered lots of them, as recently as last week, at pop-up markets as well as store fronts.

In this newly frightening environment, Tokr adds a layer of vetting to their menu, to the point where your options for choosing flower come down to Indica, Sativa or Hybrid (sativa or indica dominant) from a single supplier. It’s the equivalent of going Omakase at the sushi bar–you agree to accept the chef’s choice. With this app, you know that what’s on the way is tested and safe. Many of the brand names proclaim themselves organic, the concentrates boasting of natural extraction methods. It’s a health food store approach which makes me feel instinctively comfortable and cared for. You can also use the “Discover” feature of the app to limit the menu to only those products that tick a box for pain relief, sleep, sex or whatever specific part of your life you wish to loosen up. Express a few preferences and let them do the rest.

I was invited by their publicist to experience the app for myself, and be comped two products out of the menu. In order to get the most Tokr-ish experience and mirror the kind of stuff I buy in real life, I decided I would get whatever “Pain Relief” product came most recommended in tincture form, and whatever weed product was on the the “Stress” menu.

It was pretty easy to enter my details once I had added those items to my shopping cart. This particular app does not require entering a credit card number if you intend to pay in cash, which I like. A little over an hour after I placed my order, a friendly gentleman was at the door. After tipping him, I dug into my packages, because my shoulder was acting up and I was needing that pain relief.

The pain product selected for me by Tokr came from Papa and Barkley, a company I’ve bought from before with good results. They’re a well known maker of tinctures, balms and other medicinal products. Sublinguals are my preferred form of edible as they absorb quickly, and have a shorter duration than those consumed and absorbed by the intestine. I’ve used their tincture in the past, a 1:1 CBD to THC ratio. That product was pretty pleasant, mellow but not debilitating, and moderately effective on my shoulder pain, which is chronic.

Tokr’s suggestion for this particular pain relief tincture was significantly heavier on the THC side–Papa and Barkley’s has a 1:30 ratio. In the spirit of the experiment, I put myself in their hands and took half a dropper under the tongue.

The THC-rich formula did indeed have a much more beneficial result with the pain. Ten minutes after dropping it, I wasn’t noticing pain at all while sitting down. It did make me a little more sleepy than usual, but still not super high. That’s actually what I wanted out of this product, a better result than the 1:1 CBD tincture I’d been using, and much better than the THC gummies I’d tried munching after that ran out, which were only mildly effective on the pain and very heavily sedating.

For part one of the experiment, I’d say, yeah, they recommended me a better product than the one I picked for myself. Pricewise, it was the same as I would pay for that stuff in my localdispensary.

So far so good. I’m happy with that choice. How’s their selected weed, then?

The chosen eighth came from FLWR, which packages its bud in elegant jars that look like they contain fabulously expensive face cream from a Beverly Hills boutique, inside artsy little boxes. The environmentalist in me sees it as ostentatious and wasteful of resources, but I have to admit, it sure looks pretty. It’s the kind of weed you could give your boss for their Holiday Gift Exchange present, and hear your co-workers exclaim, “Classy!” The indica strain inside, branded as “Tranquil” on the menu, is revealed in a sticker on the box to specifically be the popular Wedding Cake strain, packaged just over three months ago, and testing at about 20% THC.

On the inside as well as the outside, it is the picture of professional pot. It feathers up cake-like in the fingers, and smokes easy and smooth with no aftertaste. There’s a nice, lingering high that may make you reflect on the importance of love above all things in this life, just like real wedding cake eaten at a wedding where it’s so obvious love is in the air, and it’s so adorable. It’s good pot, crafty, with clean flavors.

Pricewise, it is a little harder to compare for reasonableness since the cost of herb varies so much here in LA. It is on the high side for buds with 20% THC. The similar- priced strains at my local shop run around 25% to 30%. But I have to say, I really enjoy what this weed is doing to me right now. The taste, smell and physical effect are all first rate. In terms of a curated selection, I can’t say that I wish they’d sent something different. Frankly, the times I splurge and get the 30% stuff, it doesn’t last me any longer than normal for the price.

Therefore, I just talked myself into it. The price of their weed is also in the realm of the reasonable. Premium price but worth it, and not out of line with what you get at most licensed shops.

I couldn’t be more pleased with my two selections, and I might just make this Tokr-curated shopping experience a regular thing. I can recommend it. I could see novice potheads getting skeeved out by the jar-sniffing experience at your average SF Valley dispensary, but also getting flummoxed by a three-page list of strain names from a janky delivery guy. You don’t need to learn the difference between sativa strains when you can just have Tokr choose a nice “Active” one for you, at a price premium so marginal, it barely registers. That’s the power of the internet – you can take advantage of applied knowledge without having to take the time to actually learn stuff, which allows you to have leisure time, and get high.

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Gentle readers, you may have noticed that it has been a moment since your old pal Mr. Ubetchakoff has been here to review marijuana products for you. Don’t worry, I haven’t gone rogue or quit the stuff.

To be completely honest with you, I stopped reviewing weed products because I had to step back and realize, at some point, I had no idea what was in some of these devices I was using and potentially recommending to you all. I assumed everything on those shelves was safe to consume since it was being sold in a storefront. I didn’t exactly ask to see paperwork before dropping $25 for an eighth or a jar of wax.

But I got sold some bogus crap more than once, in some shops that were less than legit and eventually shuttered by the cops. I wasn’t smart enough to spot it. Despite years of experience with the stuff, this part of the new world was too new and I was getting suckered with everyone else.

And so I said, I need to step back and think about what I can recommend in good faith to you, or else these pieces are not just worthless but possibly harmful.

That was a decision I made over a year ago, and look where we are now. There’s Vitamin E oil in cheap illicit vape pens, legit manufacturers caught allegedly making black-market batches of edibles made with tainted oil, storefronts without licenses offering joints for 5-star Weedmap reviews. I know I have puffed on Dank Vape cartridges in the past, the name in the news that’s making people sick, I knew them to be cheap and not that strong. I bought a similar cartridge at a Farmers Market just months before the news broke, which lucky for me had faulty electronics. Of course there is no fucking way to know what is in such carts, maybe I got lucky and avoided being poisoned. Fingers crossed.

This is crazy. We only used to have to worry about getting busted.

But you LA Beat readers can expect to see me around, when I come across something I can honestly recommend and not worry about feeling bad in the morning. Given that this service was offering a layer of pro-wellness concern, it seemed like a good place to start up this column again.