Here we go again. Just when summer starts revving up, it comes screeching to a cruel stop when school bells ring. Summer is not even over! Neither is the summer heat, but despite the lack of oxygen, one must suddenly face musty classrooms, freaky teachers, smelly classmates, snarled parking lots, and hard chairs with stale gum stuck to them.
Sure, school can have its good points, but my mind is too limp and lazy to list them. Instead, the Candy Wrapper Museum presents to you a guide to going back to school “candy style.”
First, what is learning without “brain food”? There’s never a better time to justify the mass consumption of take-out and delivery meals, so keep those phone numbers handy.
Program those vital numbers into your cell phone. And remember: never leave home without your portable music device. But be sure to have the latest gear… people might think you’re a little weird if the last song you downloaded is by Deep Purple.
…when you’re cramming late at night on this.
But, hey, school is about learning and expanding one’s mind—not about parties and dates, and all that “superficial” stuff. You can always get your true friends together for an inspiring night of role-playing games…