On Salty Caramels and Haircuts

I am addicted to salted caramels. This is dangerous, because I exercise, watch my weight, avoid sugar, and look my best not because I care what others think but because it makes me feel good. However, when Trader Joe’s rolls out (oh what an unfortunate choice of words) the chocolate-covered salted caramels this time of year, I want to avoid the store altogether. Note: I went last night and they are sold out! Freedom.

A few years ago, they were a rarity (I did a post on this back when.) Now, salted caramel is everywhere – even in coffee (or, rather on the whipped cream on top of your coffee, which technically makes it schlag, and you should drink it sitting down, with a long handled spoon, savoring every sip, not walking hurriedly down the street or in your car. But I digress.)  It doesn’t work everywhere.

Yesterday was somewhat difficult. I was rescued by our dear editor, who whisked me away to wherehsouldwegoletsgofortacos when I really wanted breakfast, and not being a foodie I had missed the whole Milk bandwagon. “Ooh, let’s go there!” said haplessly behind the times me. “It probably won’t be crowded now,” sighed Elise. And off we went.

And I nearly fainted. Partly from hunger, but mostly from the fresh ice cream. This transplanted New Englander has always griped about the dearth of fresh ice cream outside of my homeland, where we have lines at the ice cream store even in winter, and at Milk I felt like I died and went to moo heaven. It was all I could do not to bring home pints of gingerbread or coffee but I knew what would happen. I would eat them before 3pm.

However, we did split a Salty Caramel ice cream sandwich and it is all I can think of. I swear I dreamed of it. I thought of it all through my Yon-Ka Gommage peel, my Lush mask, my intense vacuuming that broke the handle of my Shark, and my innumerable loads of laundry. And oh yes, how did I not know Elise could cut hair?  Thanks for the trim, doll! It looks swell.

Donna Lethal

About Donna Lethal

Donna Lethal is the author of "Milk of Amnesia" and writes for her own blog (Lethal Dose), Hair Hall of Fame, Dowager Quarterly, Find A Death, & the Valhalla Cemetery chapter in "Weird Hollywood." A native of Lowell, Mass., she's lived in Boston, NY and London before settling here. When not writing, she's hiking, soaking in a Korean salt room or in the high desert with her pit bull.
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4 Responses to On Salty Caramels and Haircuts

  1. Kat Griffin says:

    Leave it to Lethal to balance a propensity for the epic sugar fix with mantras of self restraint. A skill to be mastered by all. Write me a diet book, please!

  2. Adam Bomb says:

    A half of a salted caramel ice cream bar is worth a haircut any day!

  3. A haircut for a salted caramel ice cream is a deal any day!

  4. Donna Lethal Donna Lethal says:

    ME write a diet book? Elise knows my diet tips…the infamous “Whip” diet was one. Oh no, you don’t want to go there.

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