That’s it. I’ve just been tagged as an office “Secret Santa” (I don’t even have a job, so I’m not sure how this happened) and (…wha???) have already received several gifts from people who, um, weren’t originally on my holiday short list. So from an etiquette perspective, the Yuletide quid pro quo is now on.
And the thought of padding around the mall, mildly nauseated by the perfume of Cinnabon, disoriented by endless evil free sausage-snippets on toothpicks, mortified by the screams of terrified, dehydrated children attempting to wriggle free from Santa’s Grendel-like grasp, hammered by the shrill canned choruses of “Little Drummer Boy”, trying to choose between foul sweatshop-sweaters which are already starting to pill up, is just too mucking fuch. So this year, I’m taking the path of least resistance: mouse in hand, I’m ordering ESSIO Starter Kits for everyone on my list, the new essential oil experience which turns your entire shower into the world’s best aromatherapy diffuser.
Here’s the rundown:
1-ESSIO for the shower turns your humble home unit into a giant aromatherapy diffuser. Just clip the pod of essential oils to your shower pipe, tilt the pod into the water, et Voila! The steam and moving water release the microfine veil of aromatherapy blends.
2-No tools or installation. Guys like this.
3-Guys also like the fact that the ESSIO product doesn’t smell all girly, too. There are actual flowers used in the making of ESSIO blends, but the blend is genderless, clean, fresh and modern. Men are notoriously tough to gift (I usually opt for a value-pack of white crew socks and a pizza gift-card), so the ESSIO Starter Kit meets a huge listing-need.
4-My fellow chicks like the fact that the product does NOT slime your hair, does NOT leave a greasy snail-trail around your tub, and does NOT heavily perfume your body, so your favorite cologne still rules.
This holiday, I’m jonesing for a new showerhead, since my current model is calcified with stalactites and stalagmites carbon-dated to the Nixon era. My new Kohler Moxie Bluetooth-enabled showerhead with speaker WILL require tools to install, but ESSIO aromatherapy really makes it worth a little wrenching.